Finding Myself

  Home Health Aide/ HHA, Personal Care Aide/ PCA.  That's what i am.  That's what i do.  It's a job that I continue to find my way back to.    Being a home health care provider is not an easy job, but it's a rewarding one.   Don't get me wrong, you'll have easy clients.  The ones that just want to sit and chat,  or watch movies,  or bake, or make crafts, or play cards, etc.   And the memories you make are amazing.  Your client becomes apart of your family,  and you apart of there's.   They make your time at work incredibly enjoyable and you are so so very thankful for your job.  And for them.  These clients are so appreciative of you, and everything you do.  They treat you with respect and love.  And you just enjoy working for them,  and they enjoy your company. You'll also have some difficult clients.   The ones who feel their way is the only way and they will ride ...

  As most of you know, jared and I have been trying to conceive for almost 2 years now with no luck.  Today I had my first doctors apt with a new doctor.  I am so happy to say that we are finally getting somewhere!   I go back for testing on January 29th, and again Febuary 29th to make sure i am ovulating and test all of my hormone levels,  I was given Info on a place for jared to go get his sperm count checked.    I know this is just a start but i am over the moon happy that we are finally going to be getting some answers, and I just wanted to share.  For the first time ever the focus wasn't just on my weight. Prayers ❤ love and baby dust! 

  I never thought that I would actually have to go through this.   I always worried about it even as a little girl, I just never imagined i would actually suffer from it. " You're just 20 ", the doctors say.  "You still have time,  what's the rush " , "finish college first ", " Why do you even want kids right now?" "You're overweight that's why you aren't getting pregnant".  Those are the things I am told when i try to reach out for help.   Febuary 9th will be two years of trying for my husband and i.  It's heartbreaking,  and it just isn't fair.  But life isn't fair.    Somedays I'm fine, actually most days I'm fine.  But there are days when i let sadness, anger, jealousy and bitterness consume my mind.  I try not too.  I hate those feelings and it makes me feel like I am a horrible person for feeling that way.   These past 2 years I've watched so many friends get blessed with what we wer...

  Once again another year has come and gone.   2018 was kind of a challenging year.   We moved out of our home and back in with my parents ( due to us buying a home that we are still in the process of completely remodeling ) but we are getting closer and closer to being back in our own house.  It was another year of trying for baby #1 with no success at all.  It was also the first year since we have graduated that we didn't get to take our yearly vacation.  2018 was kinda tough, but i truely believe 2019 will be a year to remember.  My hopes for 2019! And things I'm looking forward too.  - I start college January 14th! -  My 21st birthday is on January 28th! Finally legal to drink in public, without the hubby having to buy them for me.  💋 - Moving into our house! Only a little left to do.  I can't wait to have our house done and have all of our own things back.   I'm kinda decorating as we get each ro...

  A year ago today I was having a really bad day.  I know this because my memories on Facebook popped up to remind me.  Thanks facebook.  But no, seriously I'm glad they did.  Although life isn't exactly where we want it right now, it's not bad either.   And it reminded me that things are only temporary, and bad days will pass and you will have more good ones.  Life goes on.  But i wanna tell you a little bit about a year ago today.   December 1st 2017 was one of the SCARIEST days of my life.  My cousin Sydney and I were sitting in my sun room doing our hair and make-up,  chatting it up, when my dogs came up to the door (they were outside going potty) and Sydney noticed kujo was shaking really bad, so I went to check on Karma and she was way worse.  She couldn't even stand up! She kept twitching and falling down like she was having a seizure, couldn't keep her eyes open.  Kujo was bad too, but karma was way worse....

Dear Jared, Happy birthday handsome! You're 22.  I can't express how blessed I am to have spent 6 birthdays with you (including this one) , and so many more to come.   I just want to let you know that i am incredibly proud of the man you've always been, and the even better man you've grown to be.  I am so proud of you for everything you've accomplished,  and I am SO thankful for every thing you do for us.  You work your butt off so that we can have the things that we have, pay our bills, and enjoy life.  I know sometimes I may take that for granted, and I'm sorry i know i don't say thank you enough.  I love you more than words can express, and I am SO blessed to be your wife. You are the most amazing, handsome, kind man I have ever met.  You can make anyone smile, and you always brighten up rooms with yours.  You are strong, hard-working, and humble.  You are funny, and sweet.  I couldn't have asked for a better man to spend...